in the doldrums of concentration

Kirsten: Maybe I should just go to bed.
Esther: You're not able to concentrate?
Kirsten: Well, I haven't really tried.

I feel trapped in an academic equatorial calm. I hope I don't have to start drinking my own urine- metaphorically, of course- to survive while I wait for the wind to pick up.

Awkward family photos

this is so funny.

primed

I sat in a lecture given by Ara Norenzayan this evening. In case you don't click that link, I will tell you that he's a social psychologist at UBC. The main idea he explored was how religion is a factor in pro-social behavior.

The kinds of experiments he does as a psychologist to collect 'empirical data' are quite interesting to me, particularly the idea that they can 'prime' people with an idea in their experiments without the participant being consciously aware that this was happening. The value of this, from what I understand, is that it produces a different form of behavior than the researcher would elicit if he/she explained the purpose/goal of the experiement, or if the subject him/herself was aware of what the researcher was testing. One method of 'priming' people with an idea is through using scrambled sentences with sort of embedded concepts. Four or five words are given to the subject, who then unscrambles them to form a sentence. The example that he gave was:

• was divine dessert the = the dessert was divine

Since the experiments Norenzayan was conducting were to determine whether religion influences people to behave in prosocial behavior, he and his researchers 'primed' people with ideas of God. They also are able to prime people with impressons of secular legal features- police, courts etc. Very interesting.

I wonder.

I think the concept is really interesting. I also think they're able to do this because of the existence of a much broader social phenomenon which is a part of our life in communities. In our communities, we're communicating all the time. We do this through words written and spoken, and now texted and twittered. We communicate our values to one another through our actions, or passivity, regardless of whether these actions are intended to 'speak' to a specific person in our life or not. I think life in community is actually about being 'primed.' I don't know what we're being primed for, necessarily, and I don't think we consciously prime each other but I think it's happening. I wonder if this idea helps explain some of the ways that we are unconsciously influenced by those with whom we spend time. Is this why we will talk about some subjects with some friends, but not others? Or why we can have an idea of what a friend will think about a subject about which we've never directly asked?

November 15 is

my dear friend Janette's birthday!

Is there a better way to pay tribute than through haiku? Not today, there isn't!

(I can't remember if haiku usually have titles, but this one does... )

precious

seven years a friend...
heart hears, hands help, blue eyes laugh,
words comfort and bless.

Things that are difficult to massage into a haiku, but came to mind:
- Janette can renovate, and not just easy stuff.
- She's hilariously competitive.
- She can pack a trunk like no one else I know.

Actually, I think I can do this:

Renovate? No prob.
Lots of luggage, little trunk?
She can make it fit.

Before this starts to sound too much like an ad, I'll say:

happy birthday J!

and stop.

Filing under 'violation' and 'things that are intellectually offensive.'

Usually I enjoy running at the gym. I think it's the tv-watching. It's nice to slip into neutral once in a while mentally.

HOWEVER, every once in a while things get out of hand. Remember this? The mingling of tears and sweat? The difficulty breathing? The trying-to-keep-it-together?

A few weeks ago I arrived at the gym for a run on a beautiful, sunny Sunday morning. I don't know how this didn't register before, but I was already well on my way when I realized what I was watching Anthony Hopkins as Hannibal Lecter. At first, I tried to watch one of the other t.v.s, but it was like trying to pretend you're not being poked when you ARE. Things got messy, though, when he ate that dude's face. I almost fell off the treadmill. Oh. My. The. Horror. They changed the channel for me, but it was too little, too late. VIOLATION! (in a funny way...but I still wish I hadn't seen that. sick.)

Last Monday I was, once again, running. The history channel was playing a WWII documentary in honor of Remembrance Day. Fine. I can get behind that. What I can't stand, though, is listening to a solder from the former Soviet Union saying that there was NOT massive, violent, wide-spread rape of women in Berlin by Soviet soldiers. THAT IS TOTALLY, COMPLETELY, UTTERLY FALSE AND INTELLECTUALLY OFFENSIVE! I had absolutely nothing to throw at the t.v. so I was forced to respond by running faster and cursing (a lot). I feel worked up just thinking about it.

Although, I'm simultaneously grateful for the freedom of speech we have that enables cracked out ex-soldiers to lie through their teeth in safety. Go freedom!

Well? The commonly held idea that rape is simply a part of warfare is completely UNACCEPTABLE. I reject that absolutely. I wish I had more superlatives to describe how deplorable this idea is. Almost as unacceptable is listening to soldiers lie about it. Stop lying and stop raping.

PostSecret

Once upon a time, I was spending a lame evening at home. Instead of making my own plans, I chose to lie on the floor and live vicariously by text messaging with a friend who was actually out doing something- I think she was at a baseball game. Perhaps to get me off her back, my friend sent me to postsecret.blogspot.com.

I spent some time that night reading through the secrets. Since then I've periodically gone to check it out. After a few months of that, I've decided to post a secret of my own right here: I don't like that website. I just realized this last night, but I have a weird mix of dread and curiosity when I hit the link. I've realized my curiosity doesn't outweigh the fact that I just simply don't want to be a secret keeper for strangers, some of whom confess horrible things. I probably won't go back.

I am intrigued by this concept, though. I think it is evidence of our desire to be known fully, to hide nothing. What it can't provide, though, is the healing that comes when you're accepted by someone even when he/she knows that *thing* you've buried. Not having a relationship with these individuals, at least not as far as I know, I can't accept them. Then again, maybe people aren't looking for healing or acceptance. Maybe they just want to speak. Who knows?

Snow Flower and the Secret Fan: it's time to rant

This book is a national bestseller, if we can trust the cover. Over the couple of weeks that have passed since I read this, I've been trying to understand why. Maybe Canadians just like to buy books. Maybe it's a best seller because Canadian's lack discrimination- a great possibility since my brain reminded me that The Pillars of the Earth was also a bestseller. I will never understand that, not if I live to be a hundred years old.

But, Snow Flower and the Secret Fan...the story had potential. Sadly, I think that potential was squandered by See's decision to have her main character narrate from an 'end of life' perspective. By the end of the 'unfolding' in the introductory paragraphs, the story had lost almost all ability to surprise. Add to that the clumsy foreshadowing scattered throughout, and there's almost no reason to actually finish it.

Secondly, the main characters were flat and somewhat unappealing. Unappealing doesn't bother me. Some of my favorite characters have been characters I've disliked or despised- take Angel Clare in Tess of the D'Urbervilles, for example- but I can't decide if See deliberately made them flat or not. I think it's possible that she was attempting to emphasize the degree to which women were limited as those being 'acted on' in the context in which this book was set. However, if that's the case, I don't think she went far enough.

Generally, I'd say the book hovers somewhere around mediocre. I don't regret reading it- unlike The Pillars of the Earth... how I wish I could get those hours back- but I'm also glad that I got it from the library. So, that's what I think of the book as a piece of fiction. But it was not for any of these reasons that I threw the book across the room.

The Rant:

The two main characters in this book, both women, are joined as little girls in a kind of life-long covenant of friendship. I was incredibly disappointed when the author chose to add a sexual component to their relationship. Why, oh why, did she do that? Not every serious friendship between two men or two women is homosexual (in the sense in which we use that word today, not, obviously, in the sense that it is a relationship between two people of the same gender, which, obviously, it is). In the same way, not every serious friendship between a man and a woman is wrapped around sexual desire. How did we come to a point where we are unable to imagine a relationship, a friendship, that is NOT sexual? This is a tragedy, the consequence of which, I think, is shallow relationships or isolation.
Way to go, Lisa See.